I often think about, and write about, how living and working, or playing and learning with our horses, and writing have so many similarities.
The other day I was reading a writer’s blog about the overuse of the word “suddenly” in a manuscript. Every word she said was exactly correct, and I’d hoped she would say more. I’ve always found the word “suddenly” to be a speed bump in a story or novel. Instead of propelling me forward with the action as the writer intends, it stops me dead in my reading tracks. Pushes me away. In fact most “ly” words have that effect on me. If the author replaces the “ly” word with the action she’s trying to portray, we readers can be drawn in and feel the action. Instead of “hearing” about it. But “suddenly” for me is the worst of the “ly” words.
Here’s a brief
example. “Suddenly she burst into tears.” Not much there, even if we
knew why she had to cry. How about something like, “She needed to see
him again. Where was he? Why can’t she find him? Sucking short breaths,
she tried to be strong, but her burning eyes flooded, tears streamed
down her face.”
I’ve always found while I’m editing, if I re-write scenes or sentences replacing “ly” words, the scene embraces me more. Adds depth, meaning and emotions. Yes it will add words, but I suggest they are words that build emotions and connection with the reader. And for writers, aren’t they the two most important things?
In our relationship with our horses, “emotions and connection” are most important as well. If we do anything “suddenly,” it’s more than a speed bump to our horse. It’s a “failure to communicate.” And as “authors” of the moment, it’s our job to “re-write the scene.”
If we replace that “ly” word, or action, with a more descriptive series of words and actions, our horse will follow us, feel the emotion, and sense the connection. And our relationship will deepen.
It makes no sense to the horse when we bark commands, jerk on the lead rope or wave our hands and arms. Sure, we get a reaction, and that’s just what it is, a reaction. It’s not a connection. It’s best, even if the horse is making a mistake, to follow through that mistake, see where it takes you, then build on it. Write the scene with easy to embrace description.
Engage your imagination, your intuitiveness, let your horse help write the scene in a way that embraces both of you. It’ll add words, but those words make all the difference. ~ EXCERPT from "It's for the Horses: An advocate's musings about their needs, spirit, gifts and care." Find it here, www.itsforthehorses.com
Gitty Up, Dutch Henry
I’ve always found while I’m editing, if I re-write scenes or sentences replacing “ly” words, the scene embraces me more. Adds depth, meaning and emotions. Yes it will add words, but I suggest they are words that build emotions and connection with the reader. And for writers, aren’t they the two most important things?
In our relationship with our horses, “emotions and connection” are most important as well. If we do anything “suddenly,” it’s more than a speed bump to our horse. It’s a “failure to communicate.” And as “authors” of the moment, it’s our job to “re-write the scene.”
If we replace that “ly” word, or action, with a more descriptive series of words and actions, our horse will follow us, feel the emotion, and sense the connection. And our relationship will deepen.
It makes no sense to the horse when we bark commands, jerk on the lead rope or wave our hands and arms. Sure, we get a reaction, and that’s just what it is, a reaction. It’s not a connection. It’s best, even if the horse is making a mistake, to follow through that mistake, see where it takes you, then build on it. Write the scene with easy to embrace description.
Engage your imagination, your intuitiveness, let your horse help write the scene in a way that embraces both of you. It’ll add words, but those words make all the difference. ~ EXCERPT from "It's for the Horses: An advocate's musings about their needs, spirit, gifts and care." Find it here, www.itsforthehorses.com
Gitty Up, Dutch Henry
