Your Horse is Not For You—It IS Part of You

Howdy Friends,
 

When we welcome horses into our lives, we make a life change. Sure for ourselves, but more importantly for the horse. Even those who had been with and enjoyed the company of horses all of, or most of their lives have had those moments. For some there have been many of those life changing moments. I’ve had my share. I’ve learned from the horses I’ve known how difficult that transition can be for the horse. I fear folks sometimes don’t totally understand the depth of emotions horses carry.

Their emotions run deep, far deeper and much more powerful than most horses show. It is a horse’s nature to conceal their emotions, pain and confusion. Keeping secrets is their most powerful defense mechanism.

Oh sure nearly every person recognizes pinned ears, the tight eye, swishing tail. We all smile at the nicker, nuzzle and run to great us. We understand the refusals, crowhops, and willing softness and cooperation. But do we catch the hidden displays of emotions? How can we if they’re hidden?

When horses make a move into our world, our lives, it is a wonderful and extraordinary thing for us. It is a monumental thing for the horse, but most horses are masters of disguise. 

Horses memories last a lifetime, and so do the emotions that are attached to those memories. Even if the horse is owned, ridden and loved by the same person when moved to a new boarding facility, that horse will pine for friends it left behind and need to adjust to the new horses in her world. Read my story, “There is more to our story.” Imagine the horse moved from one owner to another, and a new home all at the same time. And many horses endure that far too often. It took Kessy six months to accept and enjoy a hug.

Kessy loves her hugs now. She'll even come ask for a hug.

How can we see and feel those hidden emotions? The most important aid is to understand our horses are not “for us.” They are “part of us.” We don’t have a horse “for us” to show, trail ride, jump, barrel race or learn dressage. Our horse makes those things possible for us, because they are “part of us.” See the world from your horse’s point of view, be part of her, and quickly you’ll gain an understanding of those moments when your best friend just “seems a little off.”

Gitty Up, Dutch Henry

"Get Out Of The Way And Let Your Horse Learn"

Howdy Friends,

 

We've all been guilty of over-correcting our horses. We've all been guilty of demanding too much, too soon, too … enthusiastically. Thank God, and the Spirit Of The Horse, our horses have the patience to deal with us, our miscues, over stimulation, impatience and if I may risk saying it, our ignorance.

I understand training, trainers, lessons, competing, and all the human things about horse and people relationships. And yes I understand the benefits and need for clear and consistent messaging, demeanor and posture. What I worry about is all the training, schooling and drilling tends to make us sometimes, and for some folks a lot of the time, overcorrect. My mentor Diane Sept makes a valid point often, "If we are not consistent we are not being fair to the horse." I get that, too. But … 

We've all seen people standing with their horse on lead, and when the horse dances and fidgets, the lead gets yanked and the person yells for the horse to, "Stand Still!" The horse reacts, jerking its head high, stands still for a second – then dances again – then gets corrected in the same fashion again, and the correction follows again, and on and on it goes. And most likely this is the case every time that team goes away and stands together.

I submit yelling for the horse to "stand still" while tugging on the lead is what I call, "overcorrecting." It short circuits the learning curve, does not allow the horse to learn. And I'll wager it is not as Diane says, "consistent" with how that person normally carries themselves. Oh yes, it most likely IS consistent with how that person acts in that same situation, every time, and so the obliging horse is taught to dance, every time it is expected to "stand still."

Kessy and me

So how do you fix that? Easy. Get out of the way, and let your horse learn to stand quietly with you, all day if that's what you want. Just do it. Simply stand still, don't over correct, in fact, don't correct at all. Choose to encourage instead. Sure some horses are nervous, even scared sometimes, and are going to be high headed and fidgety by their nature. But how does barking at them, or jerking the lead rope help reassure them? It can't. If we want them to feel safe and confident standing by us, we must exude safety and confidence, so they can mirror it.

It may take a number of weeks to accomplish this, especially if there are old habits to break, but simply standing with your horse, calmly and politely, on gravel or anywhere they won't be tempted by grass, hold the lead with your hand close to the halter at first, and just stand with her. Encourage her to be confident, self aware. Allow them to look around, if she moves, politely put her back where you want her. Don't correct, or say, no. I like to use the word "stand." Not whoa. We are in fact standing, not whoaing. Just do it with smiles, happy and support, and after a while it'll be second nature for both of you.

I only used the "standing still with me" as an example, but there are many other times where we might be tempted to over correct or interfere with our horse's movement or expression. Ultimately, yes we have goals we want achieve, things we want to do with our horses and we need to direct them, teach them, but try not always correcting. Try going with a mistake, see where it takes you. Follow your horse's spirit and not your blueprint. You can, and must, come back to your blueprint, but go with the flow, too. You will most certainly be given a gift.

Let me leave with another example of not correcting and receiving a gift. I was in a spell when my back and legs were not good; those spells come and go, and in fact goof up my riding. Kessy and I were on the trail, had been a while and even though we did our pre-ride exercises, she was a bit frisky and gaiting down the trail with glee, and some speed. She kept asking for the canter, finally I said, "Okay," and she went for it. I sit the canter, and feeling as I did that day, I couldn't keep my balance and in her attempt to stay under me she kept bouncing in and out of canter. I was laughing, and did give a slight tap on the rein to help her, but didn't correct her, I was just going to go with it and wait for her to come back to her running walk. What she did was discover, to the surprise of both of us, she has a smooth and delicious ground covering rack! Before that moment neither of us knew it!

I wonder, had I corrected her, forced the canter, or the running walk, would we have discovered her awesome rack?

Of course there are times when correcting is necessary, and in fact the proper thing to do, but giving things a chance to work out, perhaps blossom in ways we aren't even aware of, is important too.

Gitty Up ~ Dutch

Grandpop, the Reporter and Firewood

 Howdy Folks,

This is the 4th in a series of visits with Grandpop – A World War II Veteran and cowboy. We first met Grandpop on June 27, 2013 in "Perhaps I just Lived Too Long (HERE) … Enjoy your visit and please share. 

Grandpop, the Reporter and Firewood 

I knew I was in for a treat when I saw the tiny white car with the local newspaper's logo on the door parked halfway between the barn and house. Every once in a while they'd send an intern out to have a chat with Grandpop and write a story. I found them in the barn. From the looks of things, and the pale face of the young intern, it may have been his first venture into a horse barn, and first time sitting on a straw bale. I smiled at his attempt to settle in a way that the straw didn't poke him.

Kessy, Saturday and me writing a story.

Grandpop tossed a nod my way, introduced us, then went back to brushing Blue. I leaned against the saddle stand, back out of the way, to watch. And listen.

"So they tell me you were in the war." The young man held pen to tablet. "Iraq?"

Grandpop stopped, laid the brush on Blue's back and chuckled. "I'm a might older than that … World War 2." He turned away briefly to tug on Blue's mane, but I knew he was hiding his eyes. Thinking of those years is always hard on him. He'd rather talk about horses, ranching and family. The important things, as he would say.

"Really," the intern said. "Wow, I never thought of that war … don't know much about it." He made a few notes. "Where you always a … cowboy? How did you get the ranch?"

"A cowboy?"

"It's not like I had it pictured, but sure, you've got land, horses, cattle. Seems like a cowboy. Except you ended up with a farm, or ranch."

"Ended up with a ranch, did I?" Grandpop pulled his hat, scratched his head, pretending to ponder that one.

"Sure look at it all. I've only been out here a few weeks, this is my first visit to a real farm … I mean you must have had some lucky breaks to get all this. That's what I'd like to touch on for my story."

Grandpop pointed to the big oak. "How would you like to take a little stroll?"

"How far. I mean, what for?"

"Oh I'd like to walk a little, stretch these old legs a bit, and show you the view."

I followed behind as we made our way to the big oak, walked between the mares, who promptly fell in line behind us, much to the reporter's worry. Grandpop had a little fun, respectfully, assuring him mares don't eat humans. Even city slickers, I heard him add with a friendly chuckle.

We walked beyond the majestic tree and on up to a high knoll just outside the woods, pausing every now and then for Grandpop to lean on his cane and catch his breath. Grandpop used each break to point out one vista or another. The young reporter made notes as he listened.

Finally we reached our destination. A little campsite just outside the fence at the edge of the woods. I'd not been there for years, and from the looks of it no one else had either. The ring of rocks for the campfire was still there, waiting.

"From here you can see pretty near every bit of our spread. One of my favorite spots. Almost built the house up here, but, my wife liked the valley better. We used to come up here real regular for picnics, campfires and the like. Now, not so much." He grinned wide, "Next time I'd better ride a horse, this trek about wore me out … Our youngest son runs the outfit now, and he's doin' a mighty fine job." Grandpop settled down on the log hewn bench he'd made decades ago.

"So there was no house? How did you live here?"

"Well, we were younger then, and bunkin' in a tent that first summer was a high time. Yes sir, that was a mighty special summer. We had a 2 room house up by fall. Over the years we poured a lot of hard work, sweat and love into this little outfit, and by golly it sure was worth every effort … Hey, it's a long walk back, how about a little campfire, since we're here anyway. I should rest a bit, and we can finish up your story." He pointed toward the woods, nodded to the reporter, grinned my way. "Would you mind gatherin' a few sticks for us?"

"Sure." Timidly the reporter began to gather fallen twigs and branches, making certain not to get out of our sight.

Grandpop used his cane to brush the debris from the fire ring, settled back on the bench, then talked the young reporter through building his first campfire.

When the first tiny yellow flames licked at the twigs the young man rocked back, smiled wide at Grandpop, "I never did anything like that before! Look at my fire go!"

Grandpop leaned on his cane, stood and offered his hand to the young man. "These days there's too much talk about some folks havin' more than others and being angry and jealous about it ... There's an old cowboy sayin' … God put the firewood in the woods for everybody, it's up to each of us to gather it and build our campfire." They shook hands. "That's the story you should write, young fella."

Gitty  UP ~ Dutch Henry 

You can read the Fifth in my Grandpop series "How About A Smile"(HERE)

"Grandpop's Horse" - The third in my Grandpop series.

Howdy Folks,

"Grandpop's Horse" is the third in my Grandpop series. Many folks tell me they enjoy visiting with the old cowboy. I hope you will too. If you missed the first one, "Perhaps I've Just Lived Too Long," you can find it (HERE) - and there will be a link there to the second Grandpop visit, "Independence Day."

"Grandpop's Horse"

It was a surprise to find him in the barn brushing a horse instead of enjoying the air conditioning in the house. Grandpop nodded a greeting as I settled onto a straw bale, making sure the welcome breeze floating down the wide aisle could find me. They'd been together a long time, old Blue and Grandpop. "How old is Blue?"

The Coffee Clutch

"Let's see, I reckon this fall he'll be 32." Grandpop gave the tall roan a friendly scratching along his neck. "Blue and I have seen and done a lot together over the years. Yea, I'd say he taught me just about as much as I ever taught him." He pulled his hat, dragged a shirt sleeve across his forehead. "Ol' Blue was always dependable, serious about his work, and his play, too."

"You've sure got him shining. What are you doing out here on this hot day? Sure thought I'd find you in next to the radio enjoying the air conditioning."

"I was inside. Had to come out, get away from the radio when the news said Detroit went belly up yesterday. At first I couldn't wrap my brain around what they were sayin'." He settled his hat back on his head, shuffled his boot toe in the dust, then looked hard at me. "At the same time the announcer said the whole danged city had gone bankrupt he added, back in '61 Detroit had the highest standard of living in the entire country. I just can't figure how a change that big can happen." He shook his head, turned back to Blue, took a handful of his dark mane and ran his gnarled fingers through the long hair as if looking for a hidden prize. "I thought about ol' Blue, and how we've changed over the years, the things we've learned together, the things we took from those lessons."

Through the big opened barn doors I could see the mares Grandpop loved so standing in the shade of the big oak. He called that oak his story tree. He loved to gather the children there on special occasions, or just family visits, to tell stories. Sometimes tall tales, sometimes family history, but I've come to understand Grandpop's stories most always had a meaning, a value.

He pointed to the mares at the story tree. "Look at those mares up yonder. A finer bunch of horses would be hard to put together." A broad smile worked its way across his face. My younger brother was running the outfit now, but it will always be Grandpop's spread. "Yes sir, a fine bunch." He said.

Grandpop draped his arm across Blue's withers and leaned comfortably on him. "You know, I've had horses all my life. Reckon I took 'em for granted for a whole lot of years. As humans, I suppose we take a lot for granted. It's sure enough an easy trap to fall into. Took me a while to figure out not to take things for granted." He patted Blue's rump."It was ol' Blue here who really opened my eyes to that account."

My confusion must have shown on my face because Grandpop nodded. "You bet, like I said ol' Blue taught me almost as much about life my sweet wife did." He tossed me a wink then went on to explain. "Blue had great manners almost from the day he was born. Seemed to read my mind most of the time. He was just about four when I figured it was time he started earning his keep. You know he took right to it. From the first day I settled into the saddle you'd have thought he'd been a working horse a year already. Why he was smooth and just about as sharp witted as any horse I ever sat, or loved. Course as a young colt he was always full of it, so I knew a bit what was coming.

"Well it didn't take but a few months for him to become my favorite of all time horses. Not that we didn't have a disagreement or two along the way. He wasn't above remindin' me that just because I wanted something, expected it, I should get it." Grandpop chuckled. "There were more than a few times over the years he made sure I earned what I wanted. But he could always be counted on, solid, steady, reliable.

"So as time went on I came to rely on ol' Blue. I must admit I took him for granted, that he'd always be here. Always ready to do whatever I asked, or wanted. Of course I sure didn't realize it at the time, that I was taking him for granted I mean, but I sure was." He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, took a long breath. "You might remember the time that big cat got after the horses?"

I nodded. I did remember, it was during those years I hadn't been visiting the folks very often, so all I knew was from a letter my brother had sent me. It must have been a horrible night.

"We heard the ruckus clear up at the house. We'd been just about to turn in when it all broke loose. Horses hollerin', hoofs pounding. Squealing like we'd never heard. We had no idea what was going on. The moon was near full. We all ran out, your brother grabbed the 30-30 and got off a shot, but not in time to save ol' Blue. Blue must have taken it on himself to try to drive the cat away and was pretty tore up. We couldn't even get him back to the barn for a week. We doctored him right there under the big oak.

"That was the night I realized I'd been takin' ol' Blue, and a lot of other things, too much for granted. That was what a fella might call his wakin' up moment. I'd been through plenty by then, the war, starting a family, losing a brother, the struggles of starting a spread of our own. But somehow, someway, that night holdin' Blue's head in my lap while Doc stitched him up, well Blue's big black eye touched me deep. I knew I'd never take him or anything else for granted again.

"I happened to be thinking about ol' Blue, how this hot weather is taking a toll on him, and how we had pulled together after that awful night, and neither one of us had ever been quite the same, when that fella on the radio started all that talk about Detroit going broke. I had a powerful tug of empathy for all the poor folks in that city wonderin' how they'd get along now and I just had to get out here, away from the radio. Had to be here with ol' Blue." He looked up toward the mares and the big oak, but spoke directly to Blue, "I hope this can be those folks' wakin' up moment."

Gitty Up ~ Dutch Henry

READ the NEXT in the Grandpop series "Grandpop, the Reporter and Firewood" (HERE)

A Perfect Day!

Howdy Folks,

Ah what a fun day Kessy had yesterday as she continues to expand her boundaries and explore the world. We loaded onto the trailer to go our friend Chris Cooper's house and ride a little, in the company of other horses. I'm the kind of fellow who likes to take things slow, some would say, too slow. But I'm most comfortable with baby steps ... And I've always felt most horses are, too. So yesterday's adventure was a big deal to Kessy and me. It is so wonderful to have a friend willing to be help out.

Kessy's getting pretty good at loading here at home, still need the "rattling grain can" and I expect we will for a long time, but it's the loading away from home that worries me, especially when there are other horses she'd like to visit longer. But all went well. We got there and rode about a half hour around the barn and in the pasture, near but not with other horses. Even though Kessy was very nervous she was wonderfully obedient, with only a few high stepping moments, and one "almost crow-hop." Chris walked with us as a companion for Kessy, showing us the way, and Kessy loved that! They've got a beautiful pasture that meanders up and down hills and around and through lovely trees. Kessy was tempted to run a few times, but with a head shake, to let me know she disapproved of my request to keep it a walk, she did, with a slight bounce or two tossed in, just to make her point. She knows how to make me laugh.

Time to go home, back at the trailer, Kessy balked a bit about loading. It took about 5 minutes of "grain can rattling" for her to step in. For a moment I was worried she would not leave the other horses, but all at once she just stepped right in. That was a big deal for me, and her.

Back at home I decided she should have a chance to hit the trail on familiar grounds, so Kessy, Saturday and I set out for a hike. With hunting in full swing right now, and the bad weather, it had been 10 days since we'd been out and I know she missed it ... And I wanted her to end the day with working a bit on trails she was fully confident on because she was still a bit nervous even when she got off the trailer at home ... And here at home I said yes to her request for a stone tossing flat out run ... Head low, ears pinned, her beautiful black mane flying in my face, the wind whistled in my ears as we flew down the trail. Of course we had to wait a spell for Saturday to catch up after her light-speed dash.

We had a delightful ride. Saw plenty of birds, a few beautiful fall asters, some brilliant red maple leaves … and a set of really big bear tracks. I mean granddaddy size bear tracks ... I stood Kessy next to them in the mud so she could make a track to compare, and by golly those tracks are slightly bigger than her hoof print!

All in all a perfect day, and I hope you have one today too!

Gitty Up,
Dutch Henry

Kessy hits the trail with Molly

Kessy and I have been partners since May 2010. I've often written here about her progress from, just learning that leaving the safety of her barn and woods could be fun, to puddle fears and recently the trailer fun. Yesterday Kessy took another step on her journey to mastering the joys and wonders outside her "Hundred Acre Woods." We call her backyard that in a hat tip to Winnie the Pooh.

Yesterday was Kessy and my 214th explore the trail together adventure. But there was a big difference to yesterday's romp and all the others. We had trail buddies, a wonderful mule named Molly and her partner Chris Cooper. What a grand time we had!

Since moving here with Ravishin' Robbie and me, Kessy learned that trail exploration is exciting, she's come from being unwilling to venture even a hundred yards from her barn to being totally comfortable with gaiting smoothly over miles and miles of trails. At first that took weeks and months of dismounting and leading. In the beginning we walked more miles than we rode, and I had to tote my cane because walking doesn't go all that great for me. We'd walk a little and sit a little, walk a little and sit some more, and on and on, until one day Kessy decided, "Hey this trail thing is alright."

One disadvantage that Kessy endured these past 27 months is she's the only horse here. Her herd mates are the chickens, dogs, especially Saturday, cats, Ravishin' Robbie and me. So being the only horse she did not have the benefit of learning from a wise old trail master. Something I know is very important to horses. But our situation dictates we limit our horse herd to one, so I've always done my best to be Kessy's herd mate. But I also always knew there would come a time when Kessy would need to experience trail exploration with other horses, and worried a bit about how that might play out.

Chris and I met the other day when I was driving down the road and she was riding her Davenport Arabian stallion, I stopped to say howdy. I could see immediately by the demeanor, and condition of her horse, that Chris was a wonderful person. We stood along the road and chatted, then later I was treated to a tour of her outfit, met all her horses, and her fabulous mule, Molly. I told her about Kessy and that it was time to introduce her to riding with others and asked her help. Without hesitation, Chris said she'd be happy to help.

Knowing this might be a big step for Kessy, I asked if she could trailer to our place and introduce Kessy to riding with other horses on trails she feels completely familiar and safe with. Again, without hesitation Chris said she'd do that.

What a perfect day we had!

When Chris and Molly arrived Kessy was curious, but polite and never showed any signs of anxiousness. Kessy and I had worked months learning to stand perfectly still as I mount, not only because it is the mannerly thing to do, but I'm pretty clumsy about it, and she stood at the mounting block as she'd been taught, even though Molly was only a few feet away.

Down the trail we went, sometimes Kessy leading, sometimes Molly leading, sometimes side by side. But always at a peaceful, pleasant walk. Molly even showed Kessy it is indeed okayto walk right through a scary old puddle, and Kessy followed easily.

We had a great ride in the morning sun, bird watching and enjoying the fall colors. And each other's company. Both Molly and Kessy acted as if we'd been riding together for years.

When Chris and Molly had to leave, there was no separation anxiety; Kessy munched her hay as if it were just another day. I did sit with her a while and told her what a great job she did, and how proud I was of her. Chris and Molly, Kessy and I have plans to do this again next week, then we'll begin to add new territories in the mix, too.

Kessy and I thank you so much Chris and Molly for all your help! ~ Dutch